Goro "local murder mascot" Akechi [Cʀᴏᴡ] (
doublecrows) wrote2018-07-15 12:15 pm
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[Week 5, Sunday: Hikage]
[hi, Hikage. there's a creeper lingering in the shadows of a castle hallway, waiting for the chance to speak with you. Akechi please get a better hobby that doesn't involve stalking people]
Hikage-san.
[so!! pleasant!!]
You're the Alchemist, aren't you?
Hikage-san.
[so!! pleasant!!]
You're the Alchemist, aren't you?
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Congratulations, detective. Although I don't think learning that will be useful at all.
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I'll be the judge of that.
What is the nature of your extra title?
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[ that was his fault. ]
... I have no way of knowing what the effects will be. Like I said, it's a useless role. I'm sure they only gave it to me because I'm an actual alchemist.
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That's all? Is there no higher purpose to you choosing those words?
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[ he's as annoyed as Akechi is, trust me. ]
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[he makes. an annoyed noise]
And here I was hoping it was something more involved and interesting than that.
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[ he'll take his entertainment where he can get it. ]
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This feels frustratingly anticlimactic.
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[ the smile he wears is sardonic. ]
That was only when I was master of my own domain.
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[he had HOPES, Hikage!!]
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[ instead, he's in the middle of this mess, with all these... feelings and stuff. ]
I tried. Tiger refused to give me a straight answer. And after that...
[ he trails off. his memories started coming back, and he started changing again. ]
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[he says that quietly, fingers pressed against his chin]
. . . those with second titles are allowed to ask for more information should they complete the duties associated with those titles. Blotters may ask for information regarding the game if they get away with murder. Historians may ask for information if they assist in the completion of objectives.
Were you not offered the same exchange?
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[ and he's been taking advantage. It's just that everything he's asked about has been entirely selfish... and the things that didn't relate to him directly aren't things he's particularly interested in sharing with Akechi. ]
So, who are you planning on leaking all this information to now?
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Why do you assume I intend to leak it to someone?
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[ he knows that because he's the same way. ]
... I wonder what ending you want for this story.
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I don't particularly care if we reach a "happy ending" or not.
[yikes. but, despite that, he continues]
But by now, you've figured out who I am, haven't you? I suppose I haven't been subtle about it; I told you my identity back when you offered me your protection. In so many words.
It is my duty-- no, my job-- to see that objectives are completed. To see that a "happy ending" is achieved. Regardless of my personal feelings on this, I will do what I was brought here to do.
And I will reap the reward for doing same when all of this is over.
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What reward is that?
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[. . .]
The end of my road to vengeance.
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[ He wonders if that would really make Akechi happy. And the fact that he's even thinking about that shows him how much he's changed. He's become so dependent on this hope of his... ]
I'll be interested in seeing if that satisfies you.
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[Hikage said it best himself, anyway. nothing here is permanent]
Of course it will. [it has to. it's all he has to look forward to] The last three years of my life were spent perfecting this future. I have to be satisfied with it.
I will be satisfied with it.
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Still, at this moment, he finds himself doubting. ]
You have a strong resolve, if nothing else. Maybe mine was just too weak.
[ or maybe Eichi does nothing to temper Akechi's insanity. After the way he spoke last week, Hikage could believe it. ]
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[it's in this moment. . . that Akechi realizes for as much as he talks about himself, Hikage has only spoken in vague terms ever since their first meeting]
Your resolve to do what, Hikage-san?
[he asks, and for once, the question is purely curious. there doesn't seem to be any malice behind his words]
You've shown this side of yourself to me, but you've told me so little about yourself beyond the things I learned the first week we were here.
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[ should he even tell Akechi this? He doesn't trust him farther than he can throw him, despite everything... But, provided Akechi is serious about his revenge, he can't see any gains he would get from throwing him under the bus. Besides, it would be easy for him to have done that this week, or the week before, had he wanted to. ]
You said you've been perfecting your plan for revenge for three years. I've been perfecting mine ever since I died... That was almost a hundred years ago. I wanted to lash out at this cruel world that kept me existing in limbo, neither living nor dead, remembering nothing and nobody... I wanted all of humanity to suffer the way I was suffering. The thought of that wish being granted was all that could bring me peace. With no future and no past, my resolve to destroy all of you was the only thing that kept me moving forward.
[ he felt nothing but despair, after a while; he lived day by day, hour by hour, feeling like he was being suffocated at the bottom of a lake, alone. To make someone else feel that despair the way he felt it - that was his only pleasure. Even talking about it now makes him remember, makes his skin crawl. He can't. He can't go back there now. ]
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[he can paint a clear picture in his head already. he knows those emotions-- despair, bitterness, anger, a desire to see the cruel world around him suffer as he has suffered-- and perhaps part of him should be alarmed that he understands all to well how this feels. but he isn't alarmed]
[he's a bit. . . mmm]
[relieved? and annoyed. all at once. not an uncommon combination when it comes to Hikage]
And why did you decide you wanted revenge? What made you determine that humanity wasn't worth it?
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[ it almost makes him laugh, when he thinks about it that way. He has no grand scheme; he doesn't believe that humanity needs to be punished for its sins. His motivations are entirely selfish. He hurts. He had to watch everyone around him pass on and leave their suffering behind while he could not. That alone made him hate them. ]
You think I need a reason like that? I wanted everyone to be as miserable as I am. Worth and morality have nothing to do with it. The only pleasure I had in my pathetic existence was seeing others fall into despair. It's only natural that my greatest wish would be to inflict as much of it as possible for my own satisfaction. [ a pause. ] ... That's the kind of selfish man I am.
[ there, he doesn't use past tense. that part of him hasn't changed, even if he remembers more now, and even if he's found happiness elsewhere - he doesn't think he'll ever be a "good person." ]
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The kind of selfish man you are. . . and you don't even fall back on the excuse of a shitty childhood.
[not like Akechi, who uses his time in the foster care system as an excuse for everything he does]
We're far too alike, you and I. It's. . . irritating. [and more than that, but the positive side of it is something Akechi isn't going to bring up] Do you feel that, too?
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Why do you think I approached you in the first place?
[ it's true that he thought Akechi's continued survival in the game would be amusing, at the time - he wanted to see the chaos it would sow. However, he hasn't been interested in that for some time now. ]
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[he remembers that conversation]
And I wanted your protection.
But it seems as though neither of us truly need the things that originally brought us together.
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[ he's not going to admit anything; he has too much pride. ]
I don't know what either of us "truly need." Maybe we do need revenge and chaos to be happy. [ despite all his years, he has learned precious little about anything other than hate and suffering. he feels like he barely knew himself - even now, he's only grasped the barest understanding. ] ... I just know there's someone here who loves you. Don't throw his feelings away, or you'll regret it.
[ it's not in his nature to dispense advice like this - he doesn't even like Akechi. Does he like Akechi? He doesn't know. Still, he can't bear to watch someone still alive start making the same mistakes he did so long ago. ]
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[. . .]
[he gives a small shrug]
I don't intend to.
[he supposes. . . for now, it's okay to admit, in the most subtle of ways. . . that he knows he's found something too precious to let go of. something other than hatred and anger and bitterness. something other than revenge]