doublecrows | [Week 6, Friday: Eichi]

[At least Eichi is good for this. He holds him close, his fingers finding his way into Akechi's hair, offering soothing strokes down it. It's all he can think must be best.]

Ion-kun... So it was unclear if he was outside as a victim or a blotter?

I doubt he was a Blotter. But I doubt he was a. . . true victim.

[. . .]

Ion-san's objective was to die from the injuries he sustained by healing others. I believe. . . he intended to meet it.

...

[Ah. His own heart sinks, and his fingers slow in their movements before he continues.]

That sort of kind soul... It makes sense, doesn't it? [Eichi doesn't know what to feel. Jealous? Admiring? That sort of move is the kind that Eichi can only attempt to reach for. He's a coward, himself, and he could never do it so gracefully. It could never take away his own stained hands.

He's selfishly thinking things like this, even, when Ion is dead.]

Like a child, it makes me want to say "it's not fair".

It isn't fair.

[Akechi feels that, too. particularly when it comes to Ion-san, whose whole life was about fulfilling his duties. his duty to lead, his duty to be controlled, his duty to die]

[Akechi kind of wanted to see him live]

He told me he was proud of me, for changing. For growing beyond the reputation I had at the beginning of this war game.

I couldn't-- [he lets out a frustrated note] -- I couldn't let him continue to believe something so false about me.

So I told him about my plan to kill Hansen.

[He hides a cough in his free hand.]

...What did he say to that? Clearly, he didn't do a thing, right?

Veronica-san told me he left me a letter. And that in the letter, he stated that dying was his choice. That someone had helped him complete his objective.

[wow why the fuck do his eyes sting, what the hell is the sensation of crying]

I believe he sought me out to say goodbye. And I ruined it, by disappointing him.

[by proving he wasn't the man Ion thought he was]

No.

[He doesn't know anything about the letter, about how Ion must have reacted, but he's firm on that. He continues to stay close like this, hoping that it's a comfort. That Akechi can cry and get it out, maybe...!!]

Ion-kun... wouldn't have been disappointed at all. He was just as kind to me, no matter what. While everyone was citing my weakness as a reason for my innocence, it was Ion-kun who said that I was kind, even if I don't believe so myself.

And I believe you have grown, Goro. Quite a bit. I admire every bit of you. I believe Ion-kun could see that in you, as well. I believe he could see it in anyone.

[how the fuck do people keep saying things like that, and meaning it? how can other people have so much faith in him, despite the things he's done? it's baffling. it's stupid and baffling]

[and yet]

[. . . he finds he likes hearing it]

[instead of answering verbally, Akechi buries his nose against the crook of Eichi's neck, staying curled up at his side as he waits for whatever emotions he feels crashing into him like a wave subside]

You'll only continue to grow from here, and he'll continue to be proud of you. I'm sure of it.

[He can take his time. Between the coughs that Eichi attempts to make sound nicer, for Akechi's sake, he continues to stroke his hair, to hold him there. He hums, in the silence, because music helps him, too. And if he's humming, he's able to breath steadily, or force himself to.

Other than that, he doesn't bother with too many other words. He thinks Akechi needs the relaxing comfort of this, sometimes, too.]

[he's right]

[Akechi is usually oh-so ready to word vomit at anyone who will listen. but right now, he has nothing to say. he can't acknowledge that Eichi and Ion are right. he can't acknowledge that he's a good person, who deserves good things]

[but he doesn't want to deny their belief in him. it feels nice. it feels good]

[hey so what if he just kind of cries into your shoulder Eichi, that's fine, right?]

[It's more than fine. He thinks that Akechi has needed a lot more than just this for quite some time. These tears... they can be healing, even if a small bit at a time. And even with this sick body that's fighting all that he was up to, he can be of some help, some comfort.

He rests his head very lightly against Akechi's as he cries there, continuing with everything else, allowing him to have this moment.

The cause of those tears... he can't make them go away. But he can be here as a pillar. As a partner, in every sense of the word. Take your time, Akechi.]

[Akechi's been keeping himself put together fairly well up until now, actually. every decision he's made, every action he's taken, was all a part of his duty as a Historian. and he walked that path without much regret, knowing that he was capable of committing the evil deeds it required]

[so how is it that one simple conversation with Ion, coupled with the deaths of so many people he considered allies, could tear all of that apart?]

[he isn't going to cry for long, but he also isn't reeeeally holding himself back]

[It's okay. It's all okay, and Eichi provides what support he can, even as sick as he feels. He holds him, he allows those tears without drawing attention to them, and his humming slows to a stop only so he can speak reassuring words.]

It simply means that we have to attain the best ending possible, doesn't it? We can do that... together, the two of us, we can accomplish that. Then you can tell him all that you'd like.

[Week 6, Friday: Eichi]

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