Goro "local murder mascot" Akechi [Cʀᴏᴡ] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doublecrows) wrote2018-06-19 08:02 pm
doublecrows) wrote2018-06-19 08:02 pm
[Week 2, Tuesday: Eichi]
[if the paranoia they experienced while separated last week wasn't bad enough, this week's partner effects are. . . well]
[Akechi bolts upright on Tuesday morning, eyes wide and completely and utterly bewildered. he blinks blearily at the wall opposite the bed, before sllllowly turning his gaze on Eichi]
[. . .]
[does he really want to bring up what just happened, or. . .]
[Akechi bolts upright on Tuesday morning, eyes wide and completely and utterly bewildered. he blinks blearily at the wall opposite the bed, before sllllowly turning his gaze on Eichi]
[. . .]
[does he really want to bring up what just happened, or. . .]
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[He says that so calmly, so casually, curling his own fingers so he can grip that hand.]
Separately, I suppose memories of mine wouldn't seem so bad. [He words it like that, whatever that means...] Is yours what you'd consider damning?
To me, I saw Akechi-kun's real self just then. You were so confident it was beautiful, in a dark and horrible way, just like a hero. But beyond that, you had some other thoughts, didn't you? I don't think you're a bad person, Akechi-kun.
[Similarly, Eichi had a lot of glee and determination while ripping apart Valkyrie, but he didn't exactly like the role he was in, either. It was necessary. That was the feeling he had.]
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[it's the use of "beautiful" that gives Akechi pause, that leaves him staring at Eichi like he can't comprehend why anyone would call him beautiful in that moment]
. . . I don't quite understand you, sometimes.
[but he's too weak to fight it, now]
Regardless. . . what you saw was me doing what had to be done for my goals to be met. It was regrettable, but ultimately, necessary.
[he says that, echoing those faint feelings he had experienced while dreaming of Eichi's assault against Valkyrie]
Kurusu was. . . weak. [he wasn't. but Akechi tells himself, to quash that small twinge of regret, to help him focus on his overwhelming sense of victory] And in the end, the stronger of us won.
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Despite the talk of actual, real life murder, Eichi reminds calm with a smile on his face. He's freaked out before, of course, while actually experiencing it— but that's because of his own weak body and his fear of dying himself. Discussion of people he doesn't know personally dying? He doesn't care at all.]
Was he a rival of sorts? Such strong emotions and resolve don't appear to a simple obstacle in the path. But a persistent thorn in your side, something that digs into your very being... that's how I'm imagining it, with your feelings.
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He was a thorn in my side.
[he knows that's oversimplifying it. but he also knows that a large part of him hated Kurusu for what he was. for what he had accomplished. for what he had that Akechi had not. it was easier to focus on that anger, that bitterness, that jealousy, over the small spark of admiration that flickered faintly in the bottom of his heart]
He believe his justice superior to my own. I proved him wrong. As you saw, his definition of justice led to his untimely demise.
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[He's still smiling, a little dreamy, somehow, but the way he says the word hints at his own feelings. What everyone thinks of as justice is hardly that. He hates it being flung around so easily.]
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[his justice is so, so personal. but everything with Eichi is now out in the open, isn't it? he has no reason to hold back]
It has to do with my father.
[ah]
That scum of a man who drove my mother to suicide. Who had a bastard child he never acknowledged. Who killed and killed and killed until he made it to the top of the political ladder.
My justice involves destroying him.
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Isn't that right?
[He relates in many ways, at least.] If that's true, then I believe I understand, even now. Unlike many uses of the word "justice," yours doesn't make me want to spew, you know?
[thanks?]
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It's the only kind of justice that doesn't make me sick, either.
[Akechi responds, almost coldly]
Because it isn't hypocritical.
[. . . it is, just a little bit. perhaps he's more like his father in ways he refuses to acknowledge. but denying his worst faults had always been Akechi's strength]
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...You said what you saw of me was tame in comparison, but the truth is that when you see only pieces of a large puzzle, only small interactions of someone picking at others until they unwind like string from a shirt, it appears harmless. Normal, almost.
The truth is that I've done some vicious, horrible things. I've piled up corpses to use as ladders, bathed in the blood of friends and enemies alike, all to sit atop a lonely throne and control things from there. And pathetically, I was chased from the top, so soon after claiming it for myself.
Death might have been a mercy, for many that I trampled over.
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[it's the hyperbole that Eichi uses that gets Akechi the most. a lonely throne, a ladder of corpses, blood shed from friends and enemies alike. . .]
Some would rightfully call you ambitious. I never thought ambition alone was a bad thing.
[turning to face Eichi a bit, expression even]
You speak of it as though you have regrets.
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[He still doesn't know, and he's quiet between his words for longer than usual.]
My actions aren't something that I regret. At least... the point that I've ended up with, I believe was necessary. But there are times when I glance back and realize that I'd been misunderstanding people, that they were truly trying to reach out to me and give me their hand, their friendship, only to have me trample over them with little regard.
Those connections are severed now, and there are times when I wish that they weren't.
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[. . .]
What's more important, than? Your ambitions, or those connections?
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My health dropped significantly in the middle of all that, and I remember thinking "it's fine if I die, as long as I finish this."
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[and that's important. at least, in Akechi's eyes]
Nothing is completely over while life still exists within you.